Childhood is a time of growing and learning as well as discovering who we are and where we fit in this big world. Actually, we first have to understand where we fit in our little world of family and community and a large part of that occurs when we attend school. 

There are many lessons to be learned at school, in various subjects, and the seldom discussed lessons are the painful ones that we learn on our own.  Sadly, it all happens inside our own little mind and body and we can create unhealthy and limiting beliefs and decisions about ourselves that affect us long after we leave school. If only I had known then about fact checking prior to drawing a conclusion. 

I have truly found my passion in life and that is the practice of self-discovery and personal growth.  I have experienced huge changes in my life when I became aware of unhealthy patterns and limiting beliefs that held me back from living a happy and fulfilling life. 

I have also uncovered little habits and ways of communicating that may not be life changing when exposed, but they certainly are entertaining to be able to see them clearly and laugh at myself.  Actually, I am sure that the one who benefits the most from my awarenesses is my fiancé John. 

John and I met over 2 years ago and prior to that I had been living alone for 11 years.  Being in a relationship is always a beautiful way to become aware of behaviours in ourselves that may require some tweaking.  

Gratitude…actually not just gratitude but heart wrenching gratitude. The feeling that makes your heart feel like it’s expanding beyond its normal size. It hurts in a really good way. I imagine this is what the Grinch felt, when his heart grew three sizes bigger that day in Whoville. I have experienced this feeling before in my life and today I felt it again and it hurt really good. Please allow me to share what happened.

“It’s better to give than it is to receive”.  

 I’ve heard this phrase my whole life; I now have reason to really question if it’s true.  It turns out that both giving plus receiving add up to giving.  Confused?  Stick with me on this one and let me share how I came up with this conclusion. 

I have always had a love-hate relationship with water, as in bodies of water, that you swim in. I love to be near water and the sights and sounds of water are so soothing to my soul. I love to be in water and play and splash and swim. Really I love to be in water, with certain “conditions”. The conditions are that I don’t have to put my head underwater, or dive into water, or be splashed unexpectedly. So clearly as long as I’m in control, I’m fine. As I write this, I can see the first metaphor for life. As long as I’m in control, I’m fine. I’ve come to realize, that was all bullshit.

I love how awareness, truth and the true meaning of Christmas can show up, even in the midst of my identity crisis: deciding if I am Annie Oakley or Norma Rockwell.

I recently was visiting my hometown to be with my family and take part in The Spirit of Christmas celebration that occurs the first weekend of December. It's a full weekend of the tree lighting, cookies and hot chocolate with Santa, breakfast, and pictures with Santa, a house decorating competition, as well as a craft sale.